Heavy Heart....very heavy heart

My sister and I had to do something I wish no child should ever have to do. We laid our father to rest yesterday in Houston. I know my daddy would never want anyone in his family to hurt this bad, so I can only believe there was something else going on that led him to such a dark place, to make such an awful decision.
It's been many years since I've had a father daughter relationship due to immature choices made on both of our behalves. So I will take this time to recount the many blessings in our relationship. I'm blogging about this purely for a coping mechanism and to journal the many wonderful memories I have of my father.
So here are a few things I would like to share/remember:
1) I will always be daddy's little girl. I was his first and always will be. My mom and dad we're so in love with each other at a very young age. They wanted to get married but both set's of parents said absolutely not. So they thought and came up with a master plan........ to get pregnant. Because then they would HAVE to get married.So the two became one on November 29, 1974.  And then...Tada- this is where I make my grand entrance on Friday, June 13, 1975. 18 months later my sister Lisa was born. We both proudly share the title "Daddy's little girl".
2) My Daddy has the most beautiful blue eyes you've ever seen. In all my life, I have never met anyone that has the exact same shade of blue. I have him to think for my daughter's beautiful blue eyes. And although they're blue they're still not the same shade of blue.
3) My Daddy was a master craftsman. He could make anything. And what he did, wasn't just beautiful but it was absolutely perfect and extraordinary.
4) He could also fix anything! Motorcycles were a true passion of his. Not only did he fix them he built them from pieces of scratch. He built his first one, from pieces of a lawnmower! I remember my sister was such a champ to ride on a motorcycle with him for the first time. Me not so much, something scared me. But I finally got on and loved it. Until I fell off of it at the gas station. Poor dad, he did such a great job encouraging me to get on and then that happened.
5) My Daddy was a very hard worker. Both of my parents are very dedicated, give it 100% or nothing kind of people. I credit both of them for blessing me with such a driven work ethic.
6) My daddy used to wash our hair with Palmolive dish soap! And it worked just fine. Even made some amazing bubbles in the bathtub.
7) He loved to spoil both my sister and I. No matter what it may have been we wanted, we got it!
8) I have many memories of my Grandpa picking us up from daycare and making a stop to get us a "soda water" on the way to see our dad.
9) My daddy loved for us to pull his work boots off and rub his back after a long hard day. And we did proudly. And let me tell you, those were some hard boots to pull off! Although, I'm sure he made them purposely a little harder to pull off, just to laugh at us.

My mind is a flutter with all kinds of feelings and emotions. Of course the why is there, and always be. But my heart is even heavier, heavier than you can ever imagine, with guilt. Many times and with lots of counseling, I have tempted to pick up the phone and call my dad to rekindle our relationship. I never got there. I even tried once writing the conversation down to mail to him. Due to lots of tears....never got there either. So my heart is the heaviest in thinking, I should have picked up the phone and maybe this wouldn't have happened.........
He's never met my children. I, me, his first born have his ONLY grand daughter, and he's never met her. And through all these thoughts, that I know are normal, I hear my heavenly father. He tells me that none of this is my fault, my dad was sick and would never want any of this. But he wanted to be better and knew he would be, if he was with the almighty one. And being there, he will see me and my family more. Because I know he's watching over us. In fact, the night of his rosary, my mom was putting my children to sleep and had an overwhelming feeling of so much pride and love that was coming from my dad. She said I can't explain it Michelle, but he was there. And I believe her. But I'm sad that I can't run to him and hug him anymore, but I will one day. Because I know he'll be the first one to greet me in our eternal home. So until we meet again Daddy, I love you. Always have and always will.

 

 

 

 

Firestation Field Trip

Wyatt's class got to walk to Firestation #4 for their field trip today. Talk about a great field trip for a class of 22, but 17 of those are BOYS! Wyatt had a blast and gave me quite an earful all the way home about firemen and what to do in case of a fire. Even told me as soon as we got out of the car at home that we needed to designate a safe place in case of fire. That is now our mailbox. So glad he not only had fun but learned so much! Love our school and all the awesome field trips!!

Take me out to the ballgame

If you know David, then you know he is a diehard, watches them all the time, LOVES to go to Rangers game fan. So when he gets tickets, its an automatic go. Sometimes he only gets 2 tickets, so when he does and I can't go, he takes Wyatt. This is special in sooo many ways. But mainly, because David is doing the exact same thing his dad did with him growing up. Going to Ranger games and developing a love for not just baseball but our Texas Rangers. These tickets happened to be primo seats on the fourth row by 1st base. Wyatt had an absolutely blast. Should have told david to take a picture of the both of them but I'm lucky I got these 2! Go Rangers!!

School is so fun...

I brought my camera to school to take pictures of all the fun we have. Best part was, I got to take pictures of my kiddos too....Love my job!!! So Whitney was outside having a ton of fun. Could hardly keep her still for pictures and Wyatt was headed out the door for their first field trip of the year.

 

 

Whitney totally photo bombed this picture!!

Catch her if you can! No seriously, she can run really fast. She's used to running from her brother!

Some of her besties! Can you believe out of 3 girls, not one of them is looking at the camera!

Look at these kinder cuties getting ready to go to the library.

Wyatt and his bus buddy Averie. Such cuties!

September 11th

Every year the school takes time to recognize the tragic day of September 11th. For the first time in years, every child at our school was born after 9/1/1. They will (hopefully) never know what it's like to experience such horror and fear. So in order to show how proud we are of those fighting for our freedom and appreciation of our country, we all wore red, white and blue. Mr. Darin started the event with reminding the children of why we honor this day and led the school in prayer. Then the best part, we marched around the school chanting USA. It's always a proud day.

1st Homework Assignment

Wyatt came home with his first real homework assignment tonight. Apparently, homework will come home every Tuesday. I am a little hesitant for this season in Wyatt's life to begin. And also nervous about our "homework" parenting skills. The pressure of...do we start "pressuring" him on his homework now, do we instill him to "do it until you get it right" ethic or do we play the "just do your best" card. Oh, the pressure of being a parent. Wait....... his homework is only to right his name 10 times! Sweet! I got this!
Cutest thing was that Whitney insisted on doing her "homework" as well. So thank goodness I had some worksheets and whipped out a few, because it couldn't be just anything. Had to look official! She even said that her teacher (Ms. Erin) would love it!
So our first official homework session went great! Hope it continues to go this well in the future!!

This boy needs some chores!

So the thought of Wyatt earning money for chores has come up quite a bit in conversation lately. I've given it a lot of deep thought. Is too early to start this, how much do you pay etc. So we tried a few things out. Started first with a chore chart, which did NOT work out well. Because that requires the parent to be very consistent with checking said chore chart EVERY night. Not my deal. Plus, it made me feel like he was getting rewarded for things he should be doing anyway. Then I came across chore cards on Pinterest ( of course). Found one I liked and had my amazing friend Kim at Gypsy Rhetoric make them and voila, success!! The chore cards are amazing! Wyatt now asks what can he do to earn a punch. Parents, your possibilities are endless with this and not limited to things they should already be doing. Soooooo his first job, take the recycling out and the cart to the street. He jumped on that so fast and dare I say, enjoyed it! Oh boy, these cards are going to be fun!
Oh and the payoff, a trip to our treasure box (filled with $1 target toys) or a new app on the ipad (99 cent app that is).

Interested in the chore card? Send my friend Kim a message via her etsy store.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/GypsyRhetoric?ref=search_shop_redirect

Our little Gymnast

Last year Whitney was enrolled in a beginners dance class. Took her about 4 months to warm up (because of the teacher - Ugh) And then they switched teachers and she loved it but something told me it wasn't her thing. And that would be because we just found her thing and that is gymnastics!! From the first day, the first moment she loved it. Loves it so much she wants to go everyday! Love that we found something for her to do she loves!  I know she's only 3 and could change her mind tomorrow, but for now she loves it and so do we. I didn't have my camera the first night and thank goodness the mom of 2 of her friends did and snapped such a cute shot of the girls (Thanks Susan!). The rest our with my phone.

Whitney and 2 of her friends from her class at school.